Mad Boy Vs Bad Boy = Fine Rajput
Written by Firydude on 12:59 AM
It had not been more than a year and some months to the home and away series against Australia that this happened. Bad boy of Indian cricket, who irked even the proteas, came head on to collide with the Mad boy of Indian cricket in IPL, both nick names courtesy of Aussie cricketers. The stage was set with Kerala boy being his usual self and the turbanator with a baggage of successive defeats as captain for Mumbai Indians. But who will explain this to Keral Express that Mr. turbanator losing infront of home crowd as the captain of opposition is too much of a momentum to interpret “hard luck” as “hard f*#k”…after all “teri maa ki” incident should have taught some lesson to Sri, if not to Bhajji, that Bhajji does confuse English words, especially if they have special innuendos associated with them.
For Bhajji 11 matches of IPL and a hefty sum of 2.92 crore go down the Indian Ocean and Sri escapes with a warning. But hey, why was I fined? Mr. Lalchand Rajput, former manager of Indian squad and currently with Mumbai Indians, was left to ponder. Him being fined 50% of march fees by IPL for not stopping the incident is certainly the right punishment considering Mr. Rajput did not read his contract properly where it was mentioned that to manage a team he should possess psychic powers to read others’ minds and have reflexes of Superman to stop an arrow out of the bow. Certainly if he had both, he could have avoided this incident with ease. Have a look at the video first of how Sree broke down.
Our special correspondent Galien Ralien had a group interview with three of the involved parties, and this is what they all had to say :
Galien Ralien: So gentleman what do you have to say about the incident?
Sri: Sob! Get me a hanky please. The Sikh has an iron hand and Preeti did not even come to hug me. I don't want to play anymore!!
Bhajji: I am shocked at the 11 match ban. It happens in world cricket and in Punjab all the time where elder brother slaps his younger brother. I mean once in my school I was not given the chance to open the innings so I just slapped the captain. I got lots of appreciation from the ex boyfriend of captain’s that time current girlfriend and next match I was facing the first ball of the match. Tussi Suniya ni “Jiski Laathi Usdi Bhains.”Ask Shoaib and he’ll tell you how he came to mainstream after Asif’s incident.
Rajput: Bhajji is a decent guy but he sometimes confuses his duty as a police officer treating criminals and fellow players. How do you think the whole Symonds issue got sorted out? We showed them the footage of Bhajji in action as a police officer using swear words at criminals. So ICC understood his work pressure back at home has some repercussions on his game.
Galien Ralien: So I heard some of you will lose some money as match fees?
Sri: What fees, I’m already paying the debt from last time I got fined against Aussies
Bhajji: It’s a harsh decision and that too at a time when my Hummer deal is almost done. Now I’m just waiting for the petrol prices to drop before I can seriously afford it.
Rajput: My 50% is gone. Now where will I buy a new tracksuit from. I had been wearing the same tracksuit for the entire tenure as the manager of Indian team. All this wait to see this day is a pain too much to bear.
Galien Ralien: So does it take a slap to derail the Keral express. I mean Sri was crying as if a lolly had been taken away from him
Sri: Actually Priyanka must have seen me getting slapped around. My career as action hero in South Indian movies and possibility of getting into Bollywood is gone now, my love life is all spoilt as well. I had to cry, afterall impression “ek din main thodi [banaya tha].”And now her number is coming out of service as well.
Bhajji: Actually I was giving Sri a high five and then I realized that both of us weren’t on the same team. Plus few Aussie faces on Sri’s side brought back all the memories so I just got angry and slapped him.
Rajput: I don’t know anything about railways. Maybe it’s a question for Railways Minister.
Galien Ralien: So gentleman a final comment on the incident
Sri: Bhajji is my elder brother and I respect him a lot as a warrior that he is on field. Thank god he doesn’t carry his service revolver to games.
Bhajji: I have received calls from WWE as a wrestler and an interpreter for Khali. They are impressed with my “chop”.
Rajput: I’m planning to lead the team queue from the next time, whether it be on and off the field, so I can claim that everything happened behind my back and I couldn’t have stopped it.
This saga was watched by lacs of people inside and outside the nation. One wonders that is it the advent of the same era of early 90s which was scarred by division of Indian team into sects. Or is it that the young brigade is too rowdy to forget when is their aggression guided or skewed. What message does the world receive when they see our heroes fighting like school kids and not taking win-loss sportingly? Passion is good but the way chosen to express it counts.
The author Galien Ralien is well renowned for his work on sports and hooliganism at the University of Saturn and is currently working on a documentary “Apes of the outer world”
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