66th Sense

India Vs New Zealand

India is touring New Zealand. Their dismal performance in the first 20-20 match at Christchurch today is due to upset lots of fans back home. And since our global correspondent Galien Ralien has started to like this game as well, he decided to chat to the Indian captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni about the forgetful performance against the Black caps. Here are the excerpts:
Galien Ralien: So Mahi, bad luck today. The team didn’t seem to perform up to their mark today?
M S Dhoni: Yeah, it’s the batsmen’s fault

GR: You mean all the batsmen including you with your score of 2 runs?
MS: No, I’m talking about New Zealand’s batsmen. It’s all their fault. If they hadn’t scored runs, we would have won the game easily. We performed according to our potential.

GR: So you believe 162 was good target in a small ground like this and your team wasn’t at fault anywhere in the game?
MS: Exactly. My team is the 20-20 world champion. How can my team go wrong in any of the 20-20 games? I guess our boys did fair enough job with batsmen Harbhajan and bowler Yuvraj

GR: You mean bowler Harbhajan and batsman Yuvraj…Anyways….So according to you it was “All Blacks’” fault that they won. What do you have to say about yours and Indian team’s batting as a whole?
MS: We are the world champion man. We don’t rely on any one guy now. We don’t want experience but youth. Look at Harbhajan’s score. Do you think it was possible few years back that a tail ender would get runs to get to a decent score?

GR: But isn’t it that back then the top half used to get runs. With likes of Sachin, Sourav, Dravid, Laxman etc India used to manage the same score that your team made today. So where is the difference, as you always believed by removing oldies, the team would get better…Any comments on that?
MS: Exactly is my point. With all the oldies thrown out…I mean retired and rested….we are still able to get the same score. All due to some good leadership and the power of youth. India has the power of Singhs and Irfans now.

GR: You mean Yuvraj, Harbhajan, Irfan and Yusuf did great work today? But Both Pathans got thrashed for runs and Yuvi didn’t do that well with bat…Then….
MS: I said India has the power of Singhs and Irfans…Did I mention cricket team anywhere in the sentence?? You journalists know exactly how to misquote a quote…I did not mean the cricket team but India as a whole. I meant Chota Recharge and Akshay Kumar both are doing a great job now a days. Soon I’ll lead them too.

GR: You mean you are planning to boot the veterans in the Bollywood as well, just like you did in the Indian cricket team? I did hear somewhere that when Sachin made a statement that New Zealand has windy conditions and players should keep their eyes wide open while batting. Your response was that you are going to wear the gogs to keep the winds at bay…then what happened today?
MS: Actually my agents were expecting to strike a deal with Police sunglasses well in time before the commencement of the series but it didn’t work out. So I decided not to go through with the idea. Have you checked the price, Police sunglasses are expensive to afford man.

GR: So you think your bowlers and batsmen did equally well, or should I say equally bad? By saying that your team didn’t go wrong anywhere, don’t you think you are putting the onus of this defeat on you, the captain?
MS: I’m a keeper first, then a captain. I kept really well today. I told you its all New Zealand’s fault. I’ll ask IPL to look into the contract of Mc Cullum after his performance today. Nobody can play cricket in India if they try to get smart with me. I mean ask Sourav, Kumble, Dravid and Sachin.

GR: So what’s the preparation for the next 20-20?
MS: We are the world champions and New Zealand is learning the game. It’s our duty to help them learn the game. We are not like Australians who don’t believe in helping others…We believe in “athithi devo bahva” (Guests are like Gods). After all some of these Black Caps play for our domestic IPL league as our guests. What good is a friend if they can’t help a fellow friend in need? I want to set a great example because I’m the leader you know.

GR: OK I got it. Thanks a lot for you time MS. Enjoy the day ahead
MS: Any time… ( MS looking at Galien’s sunglasses) By the way are you also sponsored by Police?
GR: No man, I shop lifted them…But you don’t try it because you have to set an example as the leader of the team. Good day.

No Comment | Posted in » India Vs New Zealand, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Mahi, Mc Cullum

Kiski Jai Ho

I’m listening to ”Jai Ho” by AR Rahman…The song starts with nice rhythm, stops for a while and then comes the ever so energetic voice of Sukhwinder Singh. The song has a thump, a beat about it…

The singer is singing about the hardships that the protagonist has faced all his life…
How he has been dying each day of his life, bit by bit, slowly and steadily. Each night of his life has been juxtaposed to “dancing on burning coal”. How he blew sleep off his eyes and has spent the long nights counting the stars in the sky….


And then a sweet female voice asks the protagonist to accompany her under the open blue sky. It’s amazing how the poet takes you straight from the hardships of slums to an open blue sky. He takes his composition straight from the dark despairing night sky to an open blue sky of carefree life. He transcends to a life full of hope and to hail that life come two words “Jai Ho”…

And the song continues…

Oscars have ended and Rahman and Gulzaar have got Oscars for the composition. But there are few things that are untold about the song, about the cast and the writer of this amazing story.

The song Jai Ho was initially offered to movie “Yuvraaj”. But Mr Ghai declined it, rightly so, because one wonders where they would have fitted this song in the story’s plot. But then again not all the songs in a Bollywood flick suit the plot or characters. Most of the times, the songs are included because they sound nice.

We all know the movie is about how a “slumdog” becomes a millionaire after winning the the famous “Who wants to be a millionaire” game show. And we also know that two of the Bollywood superstars had hosted the very show in reality. Then why weren’t they offered the role. Or were they offered and they didn’t feel that the movie or the role was worth a try. Or was the money too less. Well I don’t know…maybe someone does. Maybe some of them didn’t appreciate the title...Whatever it was, it was an opportunity that went begging…

I agree that title is a bit harsh, but the truth is whatever the title is, the movie has 8 Oscars next to its name. And if someone thinks the controversy of the title won it the Oscars, then I guess whenever we send a movie to Oscars from next time, we are better off changing its title to represent some controversial issue.

After all in contemporary world, means are justified by the end. Maybe the creator of “Lagaan”, “Munnabhai” and “Swadesh” can take a few notes here…But then I ponder as well that if an Indian would have made this movie would it have been considered for even a single Oscar.. Now maybe the academy may help me here.

Finally let’s talk about the writer of the story. Without whom, forget the eight Oscars, the movie wouldn’t have existed.The movie is adapted from the book Q&A written by Vikash Swaroop. But did we hear this name before or even after the movie got released... Well…let me think myself…Swaroop works with Indian Civil Services and has been appreciated worldwide for his writing. But nobody is willing to give any credit to the man behind the story. I say so because I feel bound to compare this situation with the situation of movie “Hello”. Everyone knew, long before the movie was released, that the movie “Hello” is based on the book “One night at the call center”, , . But then I guess the way “Hello” was made it certainly needed that “Chetan Bhagat” milage to pull the crowds to the box office…

No Comment | Posted in » Amitabh, Danny Boyle, Oscars, Shahrukh Khan, Slumdog Millionaire, Vikas Swaroop

Rahman Pe Reham

This morning when I got up and switched on my television, the Oscars were on...I was waiting to see who will get the Oscar for the best original score...And it had to be Rehman...Ultimately he ended up winning two Oscars. Great achievement many (infact every Indian) would say and should say..

But not our Indian news channels...They somehow managed to find or should I say "create" the controversies even in this great achievement. They were raising, and still are as I write this, issues about why Rehman sung the song at the Oscars when originally it was sung by Sukhwinder in the movie. Also they are trying to investigate why the legend Gulzar, the lyricist of "Jai Ho", wasn't at the ceremony to recieve the award.


And I'm sure they will run this crap the entire night and tomorrow as well. C'mon guys, why can't we just applaud a person's achievement who has made the country proud and keep all these pity issues aside. Afterall when the singer Sukhwinder and lyricist Gulzar both aren't bothered about this issue themselves. Can we not let a man, Rehman that is, enjoy his moment of glory. Can we all not stand up and say a fellow countryman made us all proud. But then media thrives on controversies...whether there are controversies or need to be created...

No Comment | Posted in » A R Rahman, Oscars, Satire, Slumdog Millionaire

Mad Boy Vs Bad Boy = Fine Rajput

It had not been more than a year and some months to the home and away series against Australia that this happened. Bad boy of Indian cricket, who irked even the proteas, came head on to collide with the Mad boy of Indian cricket in IPL, both nick names courtesy of Aussie cricketers. The stage was set with Kerala boy being his usual self and the turbanator with a baggage of successive defeats as captain for Mumbai Indians. But who will explain this to Keral Express that Mr. turbanator losing infront of home crowd as the captain of opposition is too much of a momentum to interpret “hard luck” as “hard f*#k”…after all “teri maa ki” incident should have taught some lesson to Sri, if not to Bhajji, that Bhajji does confuse English words, especially if they have special innuendos associated with them.

For Bhajji 11 matches of IPL and a hefty sum of 2.92 crore go down the Indian Ocean and Sri escapes with a warning. But hey, why was I fined? Mr. Lalchand Rajput, former manager of Indian squad and currently with Mumbai Indians, was left to ponder. Him being fined 50% of march fees by IPL for not stopping the incident is certainly the right punishment considering Mr. Rajput did not read his contract properly where it was mentioned that to manage a team he should possess psychic powers to read others’ minds and have reflexes of Superman to stop an arrow out of the bow. Certainly if he had both, he could have avoided this incident with ease. Have a look at the video first of how Sree broke down.

Our special correspondent Galien Ralien had a group interview with three of the involved parties, and this is what they all had to say :

Galien Ralien: So gentleman what do you have to say about the incident?
Sri: Sob! Get me a hanky please. The Sikh has an iron hand and Preeti did not even come to hug me. I don't want to play anymore!!
Bhajji: I am shocked at the 11 match ban. It happens in world cricket and in Punjab all the time where elder brother slaps his younger brother. I mean once in my school I was not given the chance to open the innings so I just slapped the captain. I got lots of appreciation from the ex boyfriend of captain’s that time current girlfriend and next match I was facing the first ball of the match. Tussi Suniya ni “Jiski Laathi Usdi Bhains.”Ask Shoaib and he’ll tell you how he came to mainstream after Asif’s incident.
Rajput: Bhajji is a decent guy but he sometimes confuses his duty as a police officer treating criminals and fellow players. How do you think the whole Symonds issue got sorted out? We showed them the footage of Bhajji in action as a police officer using swear words at criminals. So ICC understood his work pressure back at home has some repercussions on his game.

Galien Ralien: So I heard some of you will lose some money as match fees?
Sri: What fees, I’m already paying the debt from last time I got fined against Aussies
Bhajji: It’s a harsh decision and that too at a time when my Hummer deal is almost done. Now I’m just waiting for the petrol prices to drop before I can seriously afford it.
Rajput: My 50% is gone. Now where will I buy a new tracksuit from. I had been wearing the same tracksuit for the entire tenure as the manager of Indian team. All this wait to see this day is a pain too much to bear.

Galien Ralien: So does it take a slap to derail the Keral express. I mean Sri was crying as if a lolly had been taken away from him
Sri: Actually Priyanka must have seen me getting slapped around. My career as action hero in South Indian movies and possibility of getting into Bollywood is gone now, my love life is all spoilt as well. I had to cry, afterall impression “ek din main thodi [banaya tha].”And now her number is coming out of service as well.
Bhajji: Actually I was giving Sri a high five and then I realized that both of us weren’t on the same team. Plus few Aussie faces on Sri’s side brought back all the memories so I just got angry and slapped him.
Rajput: I don’t know anything about railways. Maybe it’s a question for Railways Minister.

Galien Ralien: So gentleman a final comment on the incident
Sri: Bhajji is my elder brother and I respect him a lot as a warrior that he is on field. Thank god he doesn’t carry his service revolver to games.
Bhajji: I have received calls from WWE as a wrestler and an interpreter for Khali. They are impressed with my “chop”.
Rajput: I’m planning to lead the team queue from the next time, whether it be on and off the field, so I can claim that everything happened behind my back and I couldn’t have stopped it.


This saga was watched by lacs of people inside and outside the nation. One wonders that is it the advent of the same era of early 90s which was scarred by division of Indian team into sects. Or is it that the young brigade is too rowdy to forget when is their aggression guided or skewed. What message does the world receive when they see our heroes fighting like school kids and not taking win-loss sportingly? Passion is good but the way chosen to express it counts.

The author Galien Ralien is well renowned for his work on sports and hooliganism at the University of Saturn and is currently working on a documentary “Apes of the outer world”

2 comments | Posted in » Cricket

Elections Encore: Budget Encore

On 29th February the Finance Minister P. Chidambram announced a bonanza-budget catering the common man. Geared with the tax slab adjustments, excise duty reductions on cars, scooters, electrical appliances and lots of other products, the fifth union budget of the UPA government certainly lured the aam aadmi of India. This unprecedented focus on the middle and lower class in a budget drew much talks from the opposition which brandished the budget as a political exercise. With the left parties already breathing down the neck of the coalition setup on the nuclear issue, the current budget may act as a trump card if the citizens of India are made to exercise their franichise in the due course. No budget can be perfect because if it is possible then there will be no need to have them made every year. And the Chinese symbol of Yin-Yang also suggests the same thing: even the most perfect has the potential to deviate. The enticing budget for the current year too had certain deviations unaccounted for. One of the key features of the budget was the Income tax slabs adjustment from 1.1 lacs to 1.5 lacs for men, from 1.45 lacs to 1.8 lacs for women and even more for senior citizens. It does seem that the Income tax scissors spared the pocket of common man a little bit. But despite this income tax leniancy the common man is still left with a question that will this saving turn out to be an investment saving or a matador for the inflation bull. The inability of the current government to control the price hike makes this move of Finance Minister seem like "save more to spend more for same quantity". It seems that all one can save is a thought on this saving to inflation ratio. Much to the joy of common man, Mr. Chidambaram also announced a reduction in the prices of small cars and two wheelers to make them more affordable. But when one checks the exponential rate at which the petrol prices rise then this reduction in car prices seems like "save now on cars to stress your pocket later with petrol's uncontrollable expenses".

The biggest contributor to the GDP of our country is the agricultural sector. With an increase in the number of farmers committing suicide due to the burden of debts on them, the loan waiver of Rs 60000 crores is seen as an elixir to the small farmers, atleast on the papers. However,
in reality the numbers suggest that in the state of Maharashtra alone, where the suicide cases are highest for farmers, two thirds of the farmers don't even qualify for the waiver. And even if some do qualify, how many of them actually prefer banks over private money lenders for a
loan? This also raises few questions: firstly what measures are taken in this budget to ensure that the farmers don't fall in the vicious circle again? Moreover is this waiver has a potential to send a wrong message all together? Is it an invitation to borrowers to take a fairly adventurous position on the agricultural projects with a clear knowledge that if they succeed, the gains will be theirs. But, if the project fails, the government is there to bail them out. If the budget process should be transparent, accountable, and orderly then why Mr. Finance Minister decided to take a quiete stand on how this huge amount will be repayed to the banks. However the opposition parties did answer and felt that this was a preparation to carry over the deficit to the next
government.

One thing that current government deserves accolades for is the way Indian economy has grown over the past few years. Rupee is getting stronger against Dollar and it is a positive sign for the national economy, but there are labour-intensive sectors like textile, handicraft and leather products that are facing the negative repercussions of the ascelating rupee. Turning a blind eye to the export sector in the budget 2008-2009 and providing no respite for these sectors may not go down well with the commerce ministry and the exporters. People who earn in dollars and who were already struck by lower exchange rates, that lowered their pay packages, will now count even less as the budget has increased the service tax on money changing. Despite all the efforts made by the Finance Minister to attract the vote bank, there were some core issues that seemed to be ignored by this year's budget. With an increase in both the unemployment and the inflation percentage in comparison to last year, secluding both these issues from the budget's "hit list" is also concerning. The budget did come out with lots of proposals to boost Indian academia as well but only time will tell that how many proposals and promises made in this year's budget will actualise. Afterall its the bureaucrats that make these plans a reality. But Considering the current shape of Indian bureaucracy one can only wait, watch and hope.

No Comment | Posted in » Economy

Terrorism N Cricket

The latest bomb threat to Pakistani cricket players to deter them from not playing at Eden Gardens is a serious issue, or is it? From my 66th sense lets consider few points. Illogical they may seem but atleast they tickle the idiotic part of brain.



Statement: Pakistani cricketers get life threat to aviod them from playin next test

Possibility1: The threat came from any Indian fundamentalist group, if any :P.

66th sense: After the despairing performances at ICC world Cup at W. Indies now even the terrorist groups have lost faith in both the teams. Due to the unpredictable nature of cricketing talents in both teams, bad light issues, players' fitness and outside chances of match fixing it was an imperative step to ensure Indian Victory in the series. "U can't win if u aren't playing" theory. What's really exciting about this theory is, "Is Pakistan really playing the cricket they were known for"



Possibility2: The threat came from Pakistani fundamentalist group

66th sense: The reason is same as above but a bit stronger than Indian side. First Pakistan did badly at W.Indies but they lost to India at 20-20 as well. Damn it. Losing to anyone is acceptable, but losing to India is intolerable and that too in World Cup final is criminal, abominable, unethical and unholy from Pakistani point of view. So don't give Kumble and boys to whitewash the Pakistani team. Similar to Indian fundamentalists' theory of "U can't win if u aren't playing", Pakistani fundamentalist must be thinking along the lines "U can't lose if u aren't playing". More sensible in Pakistani context in current scenario.



Possibility3: The threat came from an active terrorist group in India

66th sense: Possibility here is that the group wants all the attention and security forces to be concentrated around the cricket gounds for five days, and the group has ample time and space to celebrate diwali (ironic) at a different location. Hmmmmm....clever but obvious...

Extra 66th sense: Terrorist group didn't have to play this hoax of threat to divert the forces, cos if forces were really worth considering, Varanasi, Faizabad and Lucknow would have not made the news few days back



Possibility4: Was it a Pakistani cricket supporter

66th sense: Jealousy is a green eyed monster, and green is the colour of the uniform. Was it that a hardcore pakistani supporter hoaxed all this so their team gets a little less crisiticism when they lose the test series aswell. What a nice after match interview with captain saying "Bis....... Boys played well despite the threat from terrorist. We were in a no win situation. Win the trophy and die or lose the trophy and die after getting back home. So Shoaib has decided to stay at Bollywood and myself and some boys will join ICL. Danish has joined Happydent team and planning to replace Walrus at Russian Circus. Afridi is going back as he was on the bench and takes no blame". Maybe it was intended to give their team some media attention for a reason diferent than "Y aren't u people palying good cricket"

Possibility4: It was a truth after all

66th sense: If a team coach can get "assasinated", the person least responsible for actual on field action, then so can get the team members.

1 comments | Posted in » Cricket